Is your girlfriend pregnant and you don’t know what to do? Maybe friends and family are encouraging you to push her to have an abortion. Whatever your situation, you are not alone. Lots of couples experience a “surprise” pregnancy and immediately worry about how this will affect their future. Abortion seems like an easy and legal choice but it does have significant risks that you may not understand.
Having a baby doesn’t mean the end of your dreams. It’s hard to realize that women can choose abortion without the permission of the baby’s father. Many women who have had abortions report that they were waiting for their boyfriends/husbands to stop them.
She needs your friendship now more than ever. The world says that abortion is “a woman’s choice” but the woman in a crisis pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice alone. She is looking to you for support because she can’t confide in many people about this crisis situation.
When women hear men say, “Don’t look at me to tell you what to do,” they automatically believe the man wants the abortion. Be careful that you don’t say something that you could regret. Assure her that you will stand beside her in whatever way she needs through this crisis. Inform her immediately that she doesn’t need to have an abortion to please you. Tell her you want to help her in making any choices that will affect your future.
Confirming the Pregnancy
The first thing you need to do is find out that she is really pregnant and learn about your options. We provide confidential and free pregnancy tests along with many support services. Birthright exists to help both of you come to an informed decision. To help her understand your support, come with her for the pregnancy test. She has more to lose in this pregnancy than you do because it will affect her physically.
Having your physical support will reassure her that you care. You may not realize this but abortion has many risks to the woman- -emotional, psychological and physical. While you may not experience the abortion physically, abortion can affect you as well. If you care about this woman in your life, you will want to protect her from harm. You need to know the physical risks of abortion.
An adviser at our center can discuss this with you. Our center can help you in a variety of ways should she actually be pregnant. Our support services include baby items, parenting classes, and more. You won’t be alone in supporting her in this pregnancy. We can help you share the news of your unplanned pregnancy with both families and explore all your options. Learn more about what a preborn child looks like when you visit our center.
Another interesting thing about abortion that we have learned from people who chose an abortion is that most couples break up soon afterward. Abortion doesn’t seem to be the glue that holds a relationship together. Feelings of betrayal and hurt, compounded with the grief over the loss that results from abortion, can separate two hearts forever. If you care about this woman, encourage her not to abort.
Remember that abortion doesn’t erase a mistake – it only adds to it. Abortion ends a pregnancy and is permanent. There is no “undoing” this decision. Wait and research all your options and know that we are here to help.
If you choose abortion or already have participated in this decision, be prepared that both of you may experience sense of loss among other symptoms.
If you are experiencing any symptoms that may be related to abortion, understand that you are not alone and our center exists to help you, too. There is healing available after an abortion. Feel free to contact us.
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